Today I am annoyed, I am absolutely raging to be precise!
So many women have been sharing their struggles with me recently, they are having a truly awful time, and there are always, without fail, the same reoccurring themes!
- The BatShit crazy BioMother acting like a mentalist, and causing untold and unnecessary aggravation for the StepMum.
- The StepMums partner not fully recognising the time, tears, energy and patience that goes into building a strong, loving relationship with their kids, whilst also running the family home. They’re feeling unappreciated and exhausted.
So listen up, as what I’m about to say is going to hit a nerve. And I hope it hurts!
If you have another woman giving love to your kids, show some fucking respect!
You don’t have to like them, chances are they don’t like you either! Who gives a shit.
But that woman is stepping up and caring for YOUR child, when they are under no obligation to do so whatsoever.
When you vent your bile at the StepMum, know that you just come across as jealous, bitter, and resentful. It’s tragic.
Try being NICE and seeing things from her perspective, it’ll get you further!
Ultimately it’s the kids who end up becoming damaged by conflict.
You’re at risk of making that poor StepMum feel as bitter as you’re acting.
Protect your women from this madness. You’re a team.
And how lucky are you that you’ve got someone who loves you (and your kids) enough to go through all of the emotional stress, just to be with you.
You must have something pretty special together?
Don’t ruin it by being a dick.
Clearly you (and your kids) are the number one priority in her life, otherwise trust me – she’d be out of there, so make sure that she knows that this is reciprocated.
Yes, the kids ALWAYS come first – but your Ex doesn’t!
If your Ex is being unreasonable, and it has nothing to do with the kids, just ignore it, it’s white noise, put your focus firmly on your kids well-being and that of your partner. Not the latest BMD (Bio Mother Drama)
I know some super star StepMums that don’t have any of this day to day nonsense to deal with, you’ve either outgrown it, or it never existed in the first place, and you’re so very lucky – but also largely in the minority!
Being a StepMum is the most undervalued role in the entire ‘blended family’ dynamic, and every single one of these women that are working hard, either in the home, at a place of work, or both, to support someone else’s kids emotionally and financially, are absolute Queens and should be treated as such.
And if all else fails, you incredible Wicked StepMums, I’ve found that packing an overnight bag, telling everyone to fuck off and drinking a gallon of Prosecco, to be very effective coping strategies…